Taking the tram

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and tried to concentrate on not peeing my pants as I rode the 67 tram from downtown Melbourne to the suburb I was staying in.  I had been riding the 67 tram for over an hour, albeit at one point I had taken it in the wrong direction and this had set me back quite a bit.  My day had had a clear goal: find second hand stores and then find the treasures within.  I had successfully found a vest and in the process had  ridden the tram around in circles. Finally, I was restored to the correct tram in the correct direction.  At one stop along the way, an older man boarded the tram.  He was wearing khaki shorts with worn dress shoes and high black socks.  As if this wasn't odd enough he was also lugging about a guitar in a camouflage guitar case. I have no idea why a guitar would have a need to camouflage (the city is a dangerous place for stringed instruments).  He wore glasses and his face was scruffy. At different stops, he would get up and move around the tram until he finally perched on the bench next to me. I realized my newfound travel companion was talking to himself, muttering out of the side of his mouth, narrating what was occurring around him. Although his volume was consistently low, at some occasions words would burst out of his mouth with such force as to take the rest of us by surprise.  As a girl quietly ate her apple behind us, he abruptly turned to her and helpfully bellowed "MMM, NIBBLE NIBBLE!" (this should be read out loud at the appropriate noise level for full appreciation). A few minutes later, as someone took a swig of water from a water bottle, he turned to them and brayed "MMM GLUB GLUB". Needless to say, this gypsy of sorts made an everyday occurrence anything other than mediocre.